Year End

What has happened this year , as I look back I cannot begin to fathom all of the crazy things I have done in 2010 . 365 days ago I was freaking out about moving to Mexico for three and a half months . Now I am sitting here half excited half scared to be going back to Alaska where I ill be for sure until august . What will be happening next new years eve , where will, I be ? Who will I know ? Who will I have lost ?

Our lives are moving so quickly and we should be sure that we take advantage as much as we can , don’t let fear plague you. I am the worst person to be telling anyone to fear and worry , but its necessary. If you want to be able to .look back on you life and be amazed then you need to step out. I have freaking jumped out of my comfort zone this year and its hard , I have days where I hate my decisions and I am scared to death. In the small part of my brain that is not plagued by fear I know I have made a good decision and that moving to Mexico , getting a masters and living in Alaska is for the better . Do I know to what extent it will better my life ? No. but I have to have some faith that it will and that in the long run ill be very grateful that I “Jumped” . so as my little “lesson” I tell my three readers , don’t be scared this year ….. JUMP

Thank you for reading my blog this year and hope you continue ( Cathleen )

Hoarders on a Plane

An Exceptional episode of hoarders

On the plane from Seattle to Detroit I was able to watch one of my favorite shows HOARDERS. This particular episode focused on a family of hoarders and a single man. The family was crazy the dad whose like 70 and his wife have been hoarding forever and they have two full grown 39 year old kids who live with them still, probably because they can’t even get out of the house it was so damn crazy . BACK STORY mom fell and no one in the house could get her up (partly because she was huge) so they had to call the paramedics to come and get her out of the house.

I would like to take some liberty and explain what I feel the paramedics felt when they came into the house

Paramedic 1: wow heard she is stuck; wonder if she is a fat ass
Paramedic 2: I am sure she is just old this should not take to long I am sure we will be out of here in no time.
Upon seeing the entry way to the house
Paramedic 1: HOLY F**K
Paramedic 2: OMG were going to die
After seeing her lying there in a pile of trash and shit
Paramedic 1: we could just leave her, I am sure she would blend in and no one would even notice
Paramedic 2: were going to need a bulldozer

I am quite positive that is exactly what happened when they saw the house, because after they dropped her off at the hospital then they called social services and the city was out the next day. The city proceeded to take their cats (all 7 of them) and confiscate them because it was considered animal cruelty. They also sent out a city inspector to take a peek and the house to see if was proper to live in or not. I am sure the city inspector shit her pants right before she deemed the house condemned.

Now they called in the hoarded people and told them that they wanted to get their cats back and that they had to clean the house in order to get the cats back. So some Dr who is kind of a dick goes over to the house and talks with the family about hoarding tendencies ahahah its just so much fun watching these people walk into the houses that are literally filled with shit. The cleaning crew comes in and they start getting the crap out of the house. It was nice to find out that the dad and son were not really hoarders; they were willing to throw out everything. The bad part about that is that they don’t have something wrong with them mentally they are just the laziest people on the face of the earth to be able to live amongst all that shit in their house.
They start the clean up, the guys with big ass trucks come and start throwing away everything in the garage and the son’s rooms. The daughter bon the other hand is keeping lint and shit in her room because she is freaking crazy. Not as crazy though as the freaking mom who is sitting in the front room telling the cleaning guy that she can’t throw anything away. I mean like tin cans and freaking empty pizza boxes, the women in is like “I bought them to use them not to throw them away”.
Now my favorite part of this was while the therapist was working with the lady she is reaching into the lazy boy next to her and pulling handfuls of kitty litter and sand out of it and into a trash bag. I know the man is noticing what she is doing and does not want to mention anything but he is grossed out. I don’t know why the woman is not just throwing the whole chair away because it is literally filled with cat litter and shit it’s the grossest thing ever.
Guy 1: hey Bob how’s it going
Bob: Good have a seat
Guy 1: (Goes to sit down)
Bob: OH no not there that’s the Litter box

I am sorry I can come to terms with the shit in the bathroom and the mountains of food in the kitchen and even some dead animals in the attic and the garage but what the HELL. Could the=y not even use one of those damned pizza boxes for the cat. NO they wanted the cats to be able to Shit in happiness.

BOB: “My cats only Shit on Leather “
YUCK this was the most disgusting thing I have seen, ewww so happy my Hoarder (Charlotte) does not let the cat shit in chairs because I don’t think I could help her if she did.
Well the wife starts complaining about the doctor being an ass and making her fell bad for keeping crap. So the husband who is like 95 goes ape shit all over the doctor he was like yelling at him and being all crazy it was so funny because he is like “you should just take us out and shoot us “ “ you should be leaving us alone “ . They ended up empting the whole house and then they had the city inspector come into the house to give it a review to see if it as a suitable place to live, the inspector said it was like one of the worst home she had ever seen. They ended up getting their cats back but they had to move out of the house , of course they all refused treatment and help because nothing is wrong with them they are fine .
The best part about Hoarders is that you don’t only get one amazing story you get two.

Story two revolves around a guy who calls himself Sir Patrick and says in the beginning that he is King Arthur and Peter pan. He lives in a fantasy land and thinks that his world is prefect because he surrounds himself with things he thinks are amazing. Now the whole house is filled with dust collector shit it’s a giant antique store. In terms of being dirty I don’t actually think it’s that bad. I am sure there are some bugs and mice under all those dolls but not as bad as the last house. They have to have a sale and get rid of his stuff because he is going lose his house if he does not pay some of his bills. Now this guys I delusional and thinks that he will actually make tons of money selling this stuff, NOPE. All the stuff is shit he thinks he is going to be making bank. Now I actually feel bad for this man because he is lonely and he fills up his house with stuff because he has no life. Now my pity ends quickly because we find out that he collects dolls because he is so sad about a little girl from the neighborhood who went missing and dies I assume. Now I don’t know if everyone thinks like me but my ears were a ringing with the PERVERT ALARMS. I think we may have found the poor little girls killer. OMG this is so creepy I can’t believe this that guy is now the creepiest ever. I could not really pay attention for the rest of the episode because I thought he was a child molester. He ended up selling some stuff but was still in threat of losing his home; he did accept some help and hopefully will be able to get his life in order.

I love this show; it’s amazing, gross, fascinating and scary. I can’t believe that this has been missing from my life because I LOVE HOARDERS.

Black Swan

Just saw Black swan over Christmas break and it was brilliant, I can’t explain to you how amazing this film is.

If you are a lover of film then this film is a must see. This is the fifth film by Daren Arnofsky his previous are Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain and The Wrestler. Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis , Vincent Cassel , Winona Rider and Barbra Hershey all deliver standout performances . Natalie plays a ballerina who strives for perfection; Vincent is the head of the company. Mila and Winona play a New and old Ballerina (respectively) and Hershey plays Natalie’s overbearing stage mother.

The entire film revolves around Natalies accent to perfection or decent to Mental instability .She has been given the main part in the production of Swan Lake. She feels threatened by the new dancer Mila Because she has much more raw sensuality. Nina Is the prefect White Swan but needs to work on her emotions so she will be able to preforms the role of the Black Swan. Her mother is extremely psychotic and overbearing, feeding into Natalie’s paranoia. Her mother looks at Ninas Career as a reinvention of her own, she prefectly embodies all of those crazy sterotypes that obsessive parents display. Vincent plays the head of the company with such creepiness; he is such a ass and takes advantage of these young impressionable women.He quielty uses the Alure of sexuality to seduce these young women into submission. Winona has a few amazing scenes where she plays a hardened older ballerina who is replaced by Natalie in the beginning of the film. Winona is truly Amazing in this film she is not in it very much but you wont soon forget her bitterness .

I am not going to tell you anything about the movie but it is breathtakingly beautiful. Arnofsky is a brilliant filmmaker and this is his magnum opus, he does a brilliant job of making us feel Natalie’s pain. From the Cinematography, art direction, costumes and score the whole film is top notch. For anyone who loves movies this is one that will blow your mind.

A fun little side note I found out that for all the noises in the film ( toilet flushing, horn honking) Darren used variations of a Swans Bark . Super COOL

Crazy people in a Plane

WHY do people feel the need to eat whole cloves of garlic right before they board a plane ? they should be kicked out for smelling that bad its not right or nice to all of us clean people.

BABIES why does everyone want to fly with their freaking kids , there should be planes for just kids , maybe we can put the dirty people on those planes too.

OLD people , why are they flying ? where are they going ? seriously just move to Florida we have given you a whole state what the hell are you doing in Ketichkan ???? and i don’t care if your in your early hundreds it does not give you licence to pick your nose in public .

What Happens when Mrs Claus, A Caribu , The Little Drummer boy and A Milk maid walk into a Party ?

The JVS were having a Christmas party and dang were we excited; the theme of the party was to dress as your favorite Christmas character. Jennifer was one of the eight maids a milking, Nicole was Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, Cathleen was Mrs. Claus and I was the little drummer boy. We played some banana grams and tapped our box a Franzia at E&Bs before the party. Nicole’s costume was footie pajamas with giant reindeer heads on the feet so there was no way she was going to fit into her boots. I told her to take mine and I would wear hers. Now when I said this I did not remember that she wears a 12 in a Childs. I crammed my foot into her boots , it was Chinese foot torture , I was literally walking on top of my big toe ( my foot was folded in half ).

We head over to the house (which is just down the street two blocks) I am doing a kind of hobble run thing which is the truly painful. Thank god I had some vodka in my system otherwise it might have been really bad. We make it to the house and I am finally able to relive my feet from their Bog shaped prison.
We say hi and get some glasses of wine flowing because it time for a PARTY. Well I take my glass and basically shot put it, right down the basement stairs. Now there are about 15 steps and a landing, so yes that red wine on every single step, all of the walls, the landing and some still in the glass for me.

The worst part about this was the noise it made which in turn then completely stopped the party; everyone in turn looks towards me and judges me with their eyes. The look is basically this picture .

I make a face like I don’t know who did that and sheepishly crawl down the stairs and start cleaning up the copious amount of wine that seemed to appear out of thin air.

It looked like this even though I only had a Dixie glass of wine I don’t know where it all came from. After the embarrassing moment I felt it was sign from god to stop drinking. Basically god said “STOP DRINKING YOUR MAKING MORE OF A FOOL OF YOURSELF THAN NORMAL”. Sober me was what it was for the rest of the evening, now when I am at a party and it’s late and I am sober I no longer mingle, I Judge. I moved to the outer ring of the party and simple Judged everyone. Now I don’t know if everyone knows this but I am an Olympic level Judger (If that’s a word, I am a peacock ahahah). Basically I am a professional in my field and I was working pure magic for the rest of the evening.
Rule 1: a superior view of yourself, one that allows you to be able to look at others and feel superior.
Rule 2: to Judging in Public GET SOME COVER, so I found myself hiding behind some foliage.

Rule 3: Get a partner (to laugh at what your saying), now who could I get “LIGHTBULB” Cathleen. Now coco was wearing a giant flower broach and was deemed “unabroachable” for the duration of the evening. Now Cathleen being the social butterfly that she is usually takes parties and social situations with a face somewhat near this picture. Actually that not too far off her normal look of distain (which she only gives me on a daily basis).

Now I have all the elements to a good fun judging session. First Victim: JENNIFER, I don’t know what she was doing but apparently she had not eaten since Thanksgiving and felt the need to fill her milk maid pail with sweets. I am not lying every single picture is her eating its hysterical, apparently franzia gives her the munchies, it’s crazy. At least I have something to show the paramedics when she lapses into a sugar coma.

(So jealous that she weights like 14 lbs after consuming 35lbs of chex mix, while I am ballooning out to unimaginable sizes, my biggest loser application is already filled out).

Next Victim: CATHLEEN
Now apparently she had a lapse in her brain and forgot what my job for the evening was because she got up and did this.

I don’t even have to say anything the picture speaks for itself.

Final Victim: NICOLE
Apparently after a few Dixie glasses of franzia and our resident reindeer decides it time for a walkabout. Let me set the scene

Party: everyone is talking having fun dancing, eating in Jenn’s case. Where is Nicole??? Oh I see her she s 3 foot 5 and wandering around the party like an elderly person trying to remember where she is. She just keeps walking and talking I don’t think she stayed in the same spot for more than two minutes. Here is some phototrophic proof that reindeers go on walkabouts.



So the party was a success and I was able to use my wonderful powers of judgment. Now I am sure none of the girls will be speaking to me for the rest of my time here in Alaska opps.

Awards Predictions

Predictions -12-13-10

I have seen some more amazing movies and would like to updated my lists on what I think should be nominated for awards I will only be selecting from films I have seen

Best Picture
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
The Kids are All Right
Winters Bone
Rabbit Hole
Animal Kingdom
The Girl with the Dragon tattoo
Get Low

Best Actor
Leo – Inception
Jesse – Social Network
Aaron- Rabbit Hole
Robert- get Low

Best Actress
Annette – Kids are all right
Julliane – Kids are all right
Jennifer – Winters Bone
Nicole – Rabbit Hole
Naomi – Girl with dragon tattoo

Best Supporting Actor
Mark – Kids are all right
John Hawkes – Winters bone
Andrew Garfield – Social network
Bill- get Low

Best Supporting Actress
Jacki Weaver – Animal Kingdom
Marion Cottiard – Inception
Cecile de Frace – hereafter
Diane Weist- Rabbit hole
Kristen Dunst – all good things

Best Animated = Toy Story 3

Lots of movies still on my list to see
Black Swan , 127 Hours , True Grit , The Fighter , The Kings Speech , The Town , How to Train Your Dragon , Bitful , Blue Valentine , Another Year and Get low

Dancing Celebration

Ok the girls and I decided that we were going to have fun night of baking and pizza eating. Well we were having a great time and we turned on some music. Then we decided that it was time to Dance. We decided this was going to be an around the world dance marathon starting our adventure off in Ireland with some Irish jig.

Next we had a Jewish celebration with a little Hava Naglia

Then the girls pretended to be Indian Princesses

Next up was a Can-Can, straight from Moulin Rouge

A nice little swing

Some bird mating dances with drums

Some Thai dancing

A little Ballet

Amazing Ghetto dancing

Lots of Krumping

So over all it was a great night of dancing and cookie making , truly one of the best nights I have had here in Juneau