Mt Roberts

Mt Roberts is a Mountain next to the main part of Juneau, it’s quite huge and they have tram tours taking people up to the top like every six minutes or something. Nicole, Cathleen and I decided we would attempt to climb the mountain and Nicole thought it would be good to do this at about five because then when we got to the top we could watch the sunset. I was game, I was getting psyched out all day because I knew a hike was coming and I was just ready to bust this mother out. We get on the bus and made our way t the bottom, Cathleen is like “guys I don’t think we can do this I think it’s going to be too much and I don’t know if we can do this at 500 , we might get stuck up their at night” . She had two tickets up the tram so we spilt the third ticket and rode the tram up. Wow this is just amazing its so pretty, kind of scary riding this thing up but pretty none the less (I did have a hold of the guard rail just in case the floor fell out). Once at the top we stopped and saw Lady Baltimore, who is a rescued bald eagle. Wow what an amazing creature.
Side Story:
All I can think about when I hear the name Lady Baltimore is the one episode of The Simpsons where Bart goes over to principal Skinners house and has to sit with Agnes, Agnes decided to start showing him her photo album of cakes and she is like “That’s a Lady Baltimore cake ahahahahhah Ok not to funny now but if you all had seen it you would be Laughing to.

After the bird we started walking on one of the paths hopefully leading to things that are beautiful. We make our way up to some view points and at each one we are like OMG this is so amazing it’s the best view ever , and once we get to the new landing we say the same thing ahahahah. We meet some nice people who talk to us about trails and such for a bit. We finally make it up really high to a cross and there are some rocks like jutting out of the ground, it’s so beautiful. I have had the privilege of traveling to many places in the world and this is by far one of the most breathtaking, it’s so amazing to stand here on top of mountains and look out forever, you just feel so small. IT’S AWESOME. Well after our little moment we started having some fun taking crazy pictures ahahah we are such models in our Alaskan climbing gear. Cathleen is wearing nothing but spandex and I look like a hobo ahahah we are an amazing group. We had tons of fun taking pictures and goofing off. We continued to walk up the mountain further and it just kept getting prettier and prettier it was amazing. We saw a goat that was pretty exciting. We ended up finding a nice place and sitting there watching the sunset it was amazing. My best day so far in Juneau
The girls decided that they needed frozen yogurt, now we thought the place closed at eight because everything in Juneau closes early, well we were about 3 miles away. we started walking like mothers it was crazy we were running ahahah , we finally round the corner to the store and they are open whoooo hoooo , look at the sign 8-11 OMG we just ran for nothing we are all covered in sweat and smell like a group of lumberjacks for nothing ahahahahahah it was Hysterical . We eat our ice cream in the bus stop because we don’t want to miss the next bus , While me and Nicole ate Cathleen did pushups , why I don’t know she is clearly crazy. Only after me and Nicole finished did we get up and join her, so we were all outdoors waiting for the bus doing a workout. We were blessed enough to have some of the crazies of Juneau join us and that was way too much fun. Off to bed I need some rest for my poor legs and my fat stomach.

Trivia Night

Well my Juneau Girls and I decided we would attend trivia night at a local bar. Well the sign said it starts at seven so we get there at about 6:30 well this is Alaska and they don’t actually start anything on time OMG it’s almost worse that Mexico. We find a table and get situated, we get a drink, and Cathleen meets a nice Alaskan man whom she flirts with for a while. Nicole and I are having a nice conversation when we hear Cathleen’s conversation ahs turned to roasted peanuts and cutting caribou open. I think it might be time to get Cathleen away from the Alaskan. We return to our table where Cathleen and Nicole proceed to eat about seven bins of popcorn while we wait for Emily. Emily shows up and we get some food then Erin and Mirri Show up as well. The Competition starts around 8:00 and the first question was “What president has Frank Langella played in recent years on the Screen?” OMG I almost pooped in my pants I grabbed the sheet and wrote the answer “Richard Nixon”. Question two “What companies slogan is Delightfully Tack yet unrefined” OMG this time I did poop, “Hooters”.

I am so excited we are going to kick butt we may be the best trivia team Juneau has ever seen. Well the nest three questions in the Grab bag Category were not too bad I think we only missed one maybe, now on to the next category Aerosmith Lyrics, now I have their greatest hits and I have listened to it multiple times but I did not recognize any of those damn lyrics, it was the worst Category. Ok Category three Wildcard, “ok did we not just have Grab bag but whatever”. Ok we muddle our way through these questions I don’t think we will be able to win now but maybe we can do better. Ok Category four Potpourri “WTF we just had wildcard and grab bag??” I don’t know how good this tournament might be. Well we bombed those questions ahahahah we suck major. I think we may have done better with a Salmon category then Potpourri. Finally the last category, Random, “WTF did he just give us five wild categories and threw one about Aerosmith in there”. Yep this might be the weirdest trivia night every. Why did he just not say they were all random questions?????? Well we had to go before some saw our score and the people of Juneau started judging us and our college educations ahahahah we stunk big time. Maybe we will do better Next week.

PUBLIC ASSISTANCE

Publice assistance sucks , i do not qualify for food stamps in Alaska because i have a car UGH . So now you can send donations to Juneau for the feed Andrew fund.

Captain America and Wonder Woman Conquer the world

Rope course, whoo hooo very excited about the idea of climbing stuff and being very manly in front of the ladies. Well that’s a dream; we had to climb logs that were connected by cables reaching about 50 feet into the air. It was set up like a ladder that moves and sways. Our job was to climb this and help our partner get up as well I believe it was some teambuilding training. Because these challenges require strength, coordination and a general amount of muscle mass, I and Cat decide to join forces once again. We get all geared up, this gear includes a helmet, which on me looks a bit special, and then some harness which is making me look VERY well endowed.

After a great photo shoot in our gear we are ready to start the big climb. We both hop on the lowest logs and we are like this is going to be easy, were going to run a train up on these logs. Ok so I hop up on log two it’s not so bad at all, I try to pull cat up oops. This is not going to work I don’t have the muscle to help pull her up “she is not big I am just very underdeveloped “. Ok so switch I will help her get up and then she can pull me up. She jumps and I start pushing. I have to hold on otherwise I will fall off so I use my back and head to push her. I think y helmet may have gone into her Cervix. After much pushing and screaming she is up on the log whew that might be more difficult than we anticipated. I jump again and she grabs my pants and pulls me up. Ready next log ahahahah this is going to be hard. Log three we decide that I will be a ladder and she will just climb me up to the fourth log. Ok now I know I said she is not big but, but she does not weigh 95 lbs either. I don’t have much meat on my legs and I think she may have dents them when she used them as steping stones. never the less she is up now it’s time for my big boy jump , bam I nailed it , I feel like Nancy Keergan before Tanya beat her up.

Ready we have such a good system now , get in position OMG she feel like free willy I don’t know if my leg will be able to sustain this much weight. I scream like I am giving birth to a 45 lbs baby because I think my leg might be snapping. She is half up and falls off again I just hit her back up on the log; we are past the part where we want to be nice we are beating the crap out of each other. I jump and fall back this damn log is way too high I don’t think I can even jump. Two more attempts and I am just thinking ok I won’t make it to touch the top; at least I got to the last one. Cats like “GET YOUR ASS UP HERE “I jump one more time. She grasps my Scrotum and pulls me up onto the log, Whew I have made it. I think one of my balls may have popped but I have made it. We stand up and touch the top taking all the glory and clapping with gusto. Now we have to repeal back down???? I don’t know how this is going to work. The guides are like just lean back and push off the logs, ok I try this. Well needless to say I hit every single log on the way down, probably cracked a few ribs but it just adds to my list of maladies for the week. We defiantly showed these girls how it’s done; now it’s their turn.

Well ok maybe after watching everyone we still were the worst but you know what we did it with pride and joy we don’t care that we may not look like the Beckhams but we finished and I think we did a bang up job climbing the rope ladder from hell.

Physical Specimens

Today we were privileged enough to get to go Kayaking whooo hoooo , I being the ideal human male had never been in a kayak in my life and do not really know how to row anything ahahahah ( Mexico – big rowing problems ). Never the less I was excited for my big chance to show these girls the big guns. Well I did not know that these kayaks weight hundreds of pounds, I was unable to lift it at all I need three girls to help me move mine. Boats on the shore and the gear is on, gear includes a life vest, and a skirt thing. We all pair up; because of my physical prowess Cat the next best physical specimen picks me as her partner. Together we are going to put a train up on this water. I was unaware of the amount of difficulty it takes to actually get into a kayak;Imagine if you will me sitting in it with my left leg and ass in the kayak and my right leg dangling in the rocks. We had to move our boat out more into the water and then get back in, we were a disaster but we did get in the boat with out to much water. About this time cat informs me of her crippling fear of water and that she can’t swim. AMAZING I might as well have Stevie Wonder as a Partner. I mean I can’t row, she can’t swim…….. we both might die.

Off we go … towards the rocks, omg were going to crash the kayak and we are not even five feet into the water yet. “Put the Rudder Down “is bellowed across the water. Opps guess we forgot something. After much tugging and huffing on my part Aaron was able to get the rudder down. Now we are in business. I just have to figure out these pedals and we will be fine. Ok we have gone in a couple circles, but I think I have got it down now. We start following everyone else; they are about 4 miles ahead. Me and Cat decide that we are going to show these guys how you can power through this so we start paddling like Cubans for Miami we are like machines. W finally catches and passes the group WHOOOO HOOO. It’s so hot out I am sweating more than Rosanne Barr after a 5K. After I swear about 58 miles we make our way to The Shrine of Saint Theresa or some Saint. Me and Cat explore the Island and have some fun. Back in the Kayak and just heading out when we see two seals OMG they are too far away to really see but I am so excited, on the way back we also saw a whale blow his top. Aaron of course is excited because he is growing his beard out so he looks like Ishmael from Moby Dick.

The row back was a bit more difficult because our arms were just so tired. We raced back the 56 miles and beat everyone to the shore , we were so warm we stripped into out boots and shorts and ran to the rapids , we played in the rapids for a while before we went back to the cabin and slept because we were physically dying.

The Thousand Mile Hike

The thousand Mile Hike
Today we all woke up and it was pouring down rain, like prefect storm raining. I was blissfully hoping that we would just be skipping the hike portion of the day. WAS I wrong, we were still on apparently in Alaska it does not matter how crappy the weather is you do stuff anyway. So I being the perfectly prepared person that I am have nothing but cotton. One material is bad for hiking especially in the rain and guess what it is, that’s right cotton. Thank God Naomi was there, she loaned me long johns and wool socks, and then I took boots and a raincoat from the Center. I now am ready for the hike. We all pile into the van and head off for some desolate part of the Alaskan wilderness where we will begin the hike. I am frankly a bit worried because we are pretty far out and I am not thinking we will be able to get back but I keep my fears to myself.
We get to the trailhead and we all pile out, in the freaking pouring rain. After a forty minute bear lesson we being the hike it’s not too bad just like a nice path in the woods nothing strenuous. We walk for about fifteen miles before we ask how far we have come. The guide then informs us “oh about 1.5 miles 6 more to go”. WTF we have walked way more than 1.5 freaking miles it’s been forever. My fingers at this point have turned into popsicles and my jeans have begun to soak up every spare bit of rain that happens to washing onto them. It’s still raining like we should be headed for an ark with Noah. Finally we make it to the area where we can see the glacier WHOOOOO HOOOOO we have walked forever and we can finally see the glacier. It’s so beautiful and it’s just huge. Well in between the glacier and us in a giant river with little sand bars. Cat decides she wants to walk closer and I need to go so I can take pictures of her. Great now I get to cross the glacier flow river to take pictures. She gallops across the river and starts bounding towards the glacier like a moth to the flame. I on the other hand have yet to make it to the first sand bar. I have on rain boots with laces, basically they are for like a second grader and they just happen to fit me because I have the smallest feet ever. So when I step into the water it comes rushing into my boots through the holes where the laces are. AMAZING, now my left boot is filled with ice cold glacier water and I am now on a sand bar in the middle of the river. I take some amazing pictures of Cat and then try and wrap my mind around getting back across the river. I am now passed again by cat that comes bounding back across the river on the shore. I attempt to make it across where I went the first time. Guess what now the right boot is full of water as well. It’s such an amazing time have two boots filled with water.
Now we get to head back to the car that’s only 34 miles away, I have Popsicle fingers, soaking wet jeans and boots filled with water; it’s going to be a great trip back. We walk for 5 hours and we have only made it a quarter of the way. I now feel like an ice sculpture, my whole body has lost its feeling I think my skin is starting to turn black from all the frostbite. Cathleen is running ahead of me skipping because she is having so much fun with all this exercise, even Nicole who has like a metal knee is having a riot I think I am the only one who is a human Popsicle. Finally after about 7 more hours of freezing my butt off finally see the van and we joyfully run towards the van. Its two days later and my clothes are still wet I don’t know if my jeans will ever come dry without mechanical help. That hike was an experience to say the least, I don’t know if it’s something I would ever want to do again but I am glad I did it.

Crab Cooker

I was at work today and my boss was given a bag of crabs, apparently this is normal in Alaska ahaha (not in Michigan). None the less she decided to share her craps : ) Now I don’t know if it’s just me or not but I was unaware on how to properly eat and cook the crab , I mean I have had crab before but it was like from Red Lobster and I did not actually have to work on it . She informed me after and bit of giggling that you just have to boil it.

Once I get home I am very excited about my new cooking education CRABS, I get out a kettle and put some water to boil. Then I open the bag , again maybe just me but when I got crab from Red Lobster there was not Seaweed growing on it , I mean these things look like they had green afros , I start scrubbing them because I can’t eat seaweed. During my crab scrubbing I encounter a barnacle ROLF, there is a freaking Barnacle growing on my crab OMG it’s so nasty. I have to get a knife and pry the thing off ROLF. At this point I am contemplating throwing it all away because I am kind of just really grossed out. But I figure I have eaten much worse so I throw them into the hot water and prepare some mantiquilla to dip them into. I finally decided that I have probably waited long enough and that they should be warmed up now, I pull them out and they smell glorious. I am getting so excited to start a train up on these crabs. I attempted to break them open to get to some of the beautiful meat. I can’t , I strain and grunt , use a fork , knife , I can’t get them to break it’s like a Dinosaur bone it won’t break at all . Finally I put it on the table and punch it. BAM I’ve got crab now , I have to punch and smash all of the crab open , I am sure the neighbors thought it was a Wrestling match going on in my room , nope juts me eating some AMAZING CRAB .

Juneau

Omg I am in Alaska now I have spent 14 hours in route and I am now in Juneau Alaska. I had to sleep in Anchorage for 6 and half hours by the departure doors where the snow plow kept opening the door and letting cold air in. I had to listen to a crazy lady talk to the squirrels in her hair in Denver and I scared everyone on the planes with my bronchitis cough ahahahah . Just so everyone know the Juneau airport is no bigger than the Sears in Adrian , Mi Omg it was like going to fall apart at any second . I was met by lovely Michelle at the airport and she drove me to my home, while giving me some much needed history of Juneau. I got to see a glacier WHOOO HOOO. I got settled into my place a bit and made the walk across the bridge to go the grocery store about twenty min walk not bad. I bought some groceries and then headed home. I was ready for bed but of course it was only 12.30 I muscled my way through the day and went to bed at 7.30 ahahahah Tomorrow I start work at United way I am So excited to meet my new coworkers.